Potential Lost and Babies on The Way

OK first, before anyone has a panic attack, when I say babies I mean puppies. Kaylee is due this weekend so I've been getting the whelping box ready. I'm looking forward to this litter. I always look forward to puppies but I think because I'm bringing Joan (who I am indeed spoiling rotten - she also likes roast beast and toast) to Betty's next week which leaves me with no puppy of my own to spoil. Mind you I'll only have Kaylee's for 8 weeks or so too as I already have a wonderful family that wants to foster the bitch we keep from this litter. But by then, I'll be almost ready to bring the new addition from the UK home so hopefully I won't get too bad a case of I-miss-puppy-breath-itis.
I know there have been some in the past who've accused me of having too many litters. In this respect, I'm very lucky. I usually have a waiting list before the litters are born (six of Kaylee's puppies are already spoken for). I also have Dad, who is retired and therefore has a very flexible schedule most of the time, who can stay home with puppies and loves to play with them for hours on end. Why am I any luckier than other breeders with respect to finding homes - I don't know. I do know that I always take the time to talk to people and help where I can regardless of who bred the dog causing them grief or how many questions they have about the breed - regardless of whether they're calling about purchasing a puppy, breed info, rescue info, or because they're having problems with their current dog and need advice. I know I work hard to be as honest as I can in all aspects of our breeding; I don't treat people like I was raised in a kennel with no manners; and I do everything within my power to produce stable, healthy dog with good temperaments that first and foremost will make great companions. I love showing them and doing hunt tests with them but most of the dogs we breed will end up as pets and that's a fact of life for the vast majority of breeders. There is no shame in being someone's pet. In fact, I consider it the highest praise when people call or write to tell me what a wonderful dog they have and how much joy that animal has brought to their lives.
Now on to that potential thing. I had an interesting talk with my boss today. I love talking to her and missed her greatly while she was on maternity leave as she is easy to talk to and you invariably leave her office feeling better than when you went into it. Anyway, we happened to be talking about the past and how I ended up in the bank. She asked me if I didn't think I wasting my potential by staying at the bank. I had pointed out that I was the unaccomplished, dumb one of my best friends and it's true; my fellow Pirate Queens all make at least twice what I make a year and have impressive titles with equally impressive jobs. I, on the other hand, kind of happened into banking and have a relatively unimpressive job with a rather menial title to it by comparison.
This is a question that I have pondered on my own many times. Should I be doing something more with myself. Am I wasting the gifts I was born with? In the end though it doesn't feel like a waste. If I do something I usually enjoy (hey, no one enjoys their job all the time), that helps lots of people (I've helped people buy their first homes, first cars, get their first credit cards, and eased the stress of months of worry about how to cope with ones bills and debt.) is it really a waste? I'm thinking the answer is no. After all, is it a waste if someone with a real gift for athletics decides to become a social worker instead of an NBA player? Is my situation really any different? Besides, if I thought I was wasting my life I'm sure it would only depress me in a big way.
Speaking of depressing, I have been feeling very emotional this week - overwhelmed, close to tears all the time, unsure if I can cope where I would normally just tell myself to put my big girl panties on and live with it, etc. On my way home from work today I realized that I've been out of my anti-depressants for about a week (honestly, I was planning on getting a renewal but just figured it could wait until the 15th). Apparently they really do serve a function lol It does leave me with the question as to why I am like this when without medication though. I know all the medical reasons - serotonin levels etc - but other people with much more complicated lives than mine cope just fine, so why can't I? Am I just weak?